R.I.P. Jan 1, 2013
The Hellrazors have wrapped up their glorious 2012 season and with it, the old set of WFTDA rules. A few weeks ago, a new rules set for 2013 was released. This isn’t the first time derby has had a make over- it was initially started as an endurance race where each lap was tracked on a map projected on the wall, the first one to make it from LA to NYC won. It has changed a LOT since its inception and it is changing again.
We have lost minors. That means two things are gone from our lives- FOREVER.
First, poodling. One of the highlights of collecting minors like your mom collects cats is getting to stand behind the jammer line and force a major. (For non derbyers – 4 Minors=1 Major and trip to the penalty box.) Shaking it and dancing behind the jam line was always a fun moment for all- mainly because most people dancing on roller skates, no matter what your skill level, often times looks like an upright seizure. And we will not get to see it again.
Second, the minors dance. Yes, all dancing is now gone. We have lost the Poodle Dance and the Minors Dance. During practice (and I have even seen at bouts) one player will be hit by another in what they feel is an illegal way. The ref will either not see it or interpret it as not warranting attention and the offended player will LOSE. HER. BANANAS. And it is glorious to behold. First, she throws her arms up into the air. Second, she then shouts the offense that occurred. Then she says the term louder and louder, points an accusing finger into the pack and begins to flail whatever part of her body was fouled by the other. Finally, she begins a bit of prance. It sort of looks like this:
It’s ok, we’ve all done it.
Let us all take a moment to mourn the loss of these two dances from WFTDA play and hold on to the hope that the Minor Dance will turn into a Major Dance.
Another big change? There are no more scrum starts/slow derby. At least, WFTDA hopes. (Non derbyers- I can’t even begin to explain, I’m sorry.) There is no longer the jammer release after crossing the pivot line or, as it morphed, when one team takes a knee and forces a ‘no pack’ situation. Now we get to all start on our feet and the jammer is released at the same time as the blockers. One whistle starts. I can’t decide if this means that we’ll all have a joyous reunion with the pivot line or if we’ll all continue to start at the jam line. Either way, WFTDA made a point to make it explicitly clear that we do not intentionally start in a dog pile.
We can’t do this, but why the heck not!? Looks fun!
There have been some other changes involving what is and is not a pack, panties falling off (to non derbyers- not near as exciting as it sounds, so I won’t ruin your imagination with fact) and penalty box destroying.
So here’s to the 2013 season and a new set of rules to try to master. Let us hope that the loss of the poodle is worth the loss of stroller derby!
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